For the rest of the story...which has nothing to do with Jeff so I separated it.
The story with Tate...her dad walked out of her life again the weekend before Thanksgiving. We haven't heard a word from him in all of that time. So I decided that after he didn't call her for Christmas ... well, to get a little witchy. Actually, I was irate. He hasn't worked since September. So no child support and I just had to take a 10% pay cut at work. I am down to the nitty gritty over here and then I find out that he is moving with his girlfriend and her children to a nice house ...because he felt the neighborhood they lived in was unsafe for his "second family" ...he has told everyone that is anyone that I am keeping Tate from him. Which I really haven't done because he hasn't shown up and I have just not bothered to push the issue anymore. So I decided to sue him for being in contempt of court for the child support...which I probably won't get anything from but at least I tried. And then to modify the visitation order so that she knows when her dad is coming...and if he can't adhere to the guidelines than he loses visitation. That way there won't be any question of whether he is coming or not.
Tate is only 3 1/2 years old and does not deserve this kind of treatment from him. And actually from what I have heard it's the girlfriend who is jealous of me or something childish like that. So therefor he can't be near me to drop his daughter off...
People, apparently, I am one hot momma if she is threatened by me. Good lord, I wish all of this childish behavior on their part would just stop. Tate deserves to have a father...
I don't feel like I fit into my life anymore. Isn't that odd? There are so many things I want to do and I am having a very hard time organising my life to do them. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I am about to buckle. My support system is broken down ... I just want a shoulder to lay my head on. I want to get crazy drunk and cry my eyes out. I want to scream really loud and have calgon take it all away.
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Feel you here too sista. My youngest turned 3 in September. Her dad saw her Oct 18 and then again on Dec 20 and that's the last we've seen of him. He has tried to get out of paying her support since before she was even born and hasn't stopped. I'm pretty sure I've spent more trying to get it than he has paid. I had her as a single mom and he has missed every moment of her life except for a few hours every 6-8 weeks. See why I slap myself when I start waxing nastalgic?
ReplyDeleteHow do you help her deal with that? With Tate, her dad was always around until he started dating this girl about a year ago. So she is having a hard time with not seeing him. She is too smart for me to lie to and I wouldn't want to anyway. But at the same time I can't say something like, Daddy made his choice, because I think she is too emotionally immature to understand that.
ReplyDeletenot much i can say. i know i'm a far away stranger, but, just reading you the last short while, i like you. so, i know it's not the best support system, but, you take what you can get, right?
ReplyDeleteyou did the right thing with the guy. he has to be a grown up. and you are doing what any good mom would do, good for you.
i wish you all the best, hang in there, sweetie. life will give you a taste of everything, sometimes it's bitter, but there will be lots of sweetness too. just, hang in. and be gentle and kind with yourself. i suggest baskin robbins ice cream every once in a while. (i was driving a kid home in carpool the other day, and she was telling us how she went to bask and robbers. i nearly had to stop the car i was laughing so hard.)
I love kids and the silly things they say :) I know it will get better...but patience has never been one of my virtues. The kiddos have taught me a lot about laughing when I really want to cry. They keep me young, swear it :)
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