The Struggle

There is this quote that I live my life by "Don't let the struggle kill the dream". I can't remember the name of the man that stated that but it was something that my pastor quoted in services one week about a year ago. He went on to say that your dream doesn't have to be something completely spectacular...maybe it is something as simple as being able to sit down for a good dinner once a week. But that no matter how big or small your goal is, you can't let the struggle to get there extinguish the desire to have that dream become a reality. Because when you lose sight of that dream or goal it will become a dead dream, a dead goal. And what do you have to hope for or work for if not a dream? That God does not want us to just go day to day without purpose. He created each of us for a certain reason and we all have skills that help fulfill that purpose. The trick is finding out what exactly he wants from you....

I was born deaf...through a few procedures I managed to get the hearing back in my right ear but never in my left. It seems a really small disability to some people, well, people who don't know what it's like. For example, if one of my children is crying for me and I don't know where they are ...I can't hear what direction they are in. Yes, it seems a simple thing, but it's one of those things about myself that I have a hard time accepting. I have coped really well over the years and even my mother forgets sometimes that I can't hear like she does. But, that is ok. I am proud that I have adjusted so well. But still I ask why sometimes. Why can't I be normal?

Then at the store the other day there was this woman just standing there looking lost. She was old but not quite elderly yet. But she had a lot of years and was sooo painfully thin. Anyway, she was just standing there and my kids were fussing but I still went over to her... I mean she looked really confused...I said excuse me a few times and she ignored me and so I stood directly in front of her and she finally noticed me...And she started signing...Sign language...the woman was deaf...I start signing back (because my parents had thought it a good thing for me to learn in case the procedure for my ear ever wore out) and then this woman from the pharmacy comes over to us. She explained that the woman had been there for forty minutes but they couldn't figure out what she needed because no one signs there and the woman's hands were so shaky she couldn't write...Luckily, I was there because the woman was out of her insulin and was about ready to go into shock...She was so relieved to find someone to help her she was in tears....

So, ok, God, I get the message...

There is this movie called "Meet the Robinsons"...I'm sure most parents are familiar with it but the first time I saw it I cried...Keep moving forward...

And so everyday I struggle, thinking I should let my dreams go..that for some reason I am not good enough...that the weight of the bad decisions I've made are going to drown me...And those two little quotes roll through my head...and there is another great line in that movie..."We learn more from our failures than from our success"...And it is soo true. But in the end we just have to look past the insecurities and the letdowns and just keep going toward that dream. To do otherwise would be a waste of our talents and a waste of what God has intended for us.